So much love to you (and your daughter), for this, in this. I too have been working not to fight reality. I have woken up several times per night with severe dry eyes for years and no one has been able to figure out why or how to treat it. This relates to a larger, ridiculously conplicated 30 year health journey that I have recently decided to practice being in acceptance of and not worry so damn much. I think it's helping. Baby steps. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing that, Bonnie! What an incredibly hard reality chronic pain is to surrender to. How to even do it? A deep bow to your commitment to acceptance and less worry. We got this!
Oh friend. Though not post-op, I am not a stranger to watching my child wrestle with night terrors like Jacob. I too am combating exhaustion (why do we say it this way and wonder why we are tired? Combat is exhausting) and have unsuccessfully tried to convince myself I have no reason to be, therefore, I am not. I fell asleep with a book on my face yesterday at 6 pm. Work and life “balance” feels like an election year: fake smiles, false promises, too many commercials. Solidarity in feeling what it feels. 💛
Thank you, Jenny. Combat it is, the most grueling kind. There is so little we can do without sleep, and the addition of the night terrors feels impossible. Your solidarity is so needed, though. Here's to falling asleep with books on our faces....
Baby doll, our precious Lamb. Of course my heart goes out to your daughter- I had my adenoids removed when I was four due to similar breathing issues- but my heart swells for YOU. To be the primary caregivers for our littles, to worry, to nurture, to manage the rage of feeling ourselves grow weak due to lack of self-regulation time...it feels, exactly how it feels. I will remember that line, and likely use it regularly.
I hope this weekend comes with some much needed rest for YOU, and baby-girl watches Bluey and plays with kitty.
Something my mom encouraged me with when I was in child birth was "a moment of discomfort for a lifetime of love"
I realize this is rather subjective- and our relationships with our parents don't always result in Love. With the discomfort you find yourself in, right now- we can see the lengths you will go for the sake of your girl. That's something that will stick with her for life. Hopefully, the fruits of your labor will evolve into the most cherished, loving relationship of BOTH your lives. <3
Thank you for sharing so tenderly with us. We love you.
Thank you for the big picture, dear friend, and for the big hearted love you've sent my way today. A moment of discomfort for a lifetime of love is just what I needed to hear. From my mama heart to yours, I appreciate you SO MUCH!!!
Yes, yes, yes. I see you and affirm this struggle and wish so much I could take one of those late-night shifts for you so you could rest and rally. This is so much to carry, momma. Yes, AND:
I see myself in your baby girl. Thrashing, throwing punches, not able to understand why this is happening. That my freedom could come with such a cost. What a perfect embodiment of Mother God you are. Meeting her/me/us there in the darkest corners of the night, for as long as it takes. Soothing us, even as you aren't able to take away the pain. Even as you desperately want to.
The Gospel is ice chips and dragon nightlights and momma's voice pulling me out of the dark.
"The Gospel is ice chips and dragon nightlights and momma's voice pulling me out of the dark." Oh my gosh, Lauren, you keep making me cry this week in the best possible way. Your voice has pulled me out of the dark. This comment (and your sharing of it) has pulled me out of the dark. I want to print it out and put it above my bed for the next however-long to keep me afloat. Thank you, thank you.
Gentle and loving care to you all. Flowers for you and lavender on a tissue by the bedside can often assist our sleeping. Her dear self is calibrating and children are SO amazing with this. I take my lessons from them. Resisting what is has been a bitter pill I too have swallowed and it’s a practice in progress for me to notice and redirect myself compassionately when I am. Grateful you are in the other side with the surgery and noticing some glimmers. Easy does it with your dear self and as always I appreciate your thoughts. 💐💜
Thank you, dearest Joanie! Lavender on a tissue is a wonderful idea. I'm going to do that for both of us! And your stories of your own process of healing from this as a child (go mama, with the babysitter, yes!) and your compassionate solidarity mean the world to me. Sending you so much love right back!
I must have thought I'd give you two for the price of one! I could not find my other comment, thus a second. Gotta love those comments before the caffeine kicks in. Yes, thank goodness for our solidarity and that is something I feel so keenly here on Substack. It's such a gift! Just when we might think we have nothing to say, look at what happens. Hoping there are a few more exhales for you and that your little punkin begins to feel better. Lovingly and with aloha dear Kendall. 🌺
Yes, oh how I can feel myself too within your words. Where did this horrible memo ever come from that we “should” not be feeling what we are? It cause so much added stress and anxiety. Thank goodness those ginormous tonsils are out! I had those biggies too and I remember my mom hiring my favorite baby sitter to come and play with me for several hours a day as my healing time was taking what it takes and she needed a small respite. Pretty remarkable for a 1960’s mom to tap into that. Healing hugs for all and that little peanut is going to feel SO much better! Her parents too. Go easy on yourself as you went into this time tapped out as you were trying to get the help for your daughter that she needed. Some pretty flowers, 💐 lavender by the bedside on a tissue is very calming too. (This comment disappeared this morning, thus two.) Guess I just had more to add. 😉
So much love to you (and your daughter), for this, in this. I too have been working not to fight reality. I have woken up several times per night with severe dry eyes for years and no one has been able to figure out why or how to treat it. This relates to a larger, ridiculously conplicated 30 year health journey that I have recently decided to practice being in acceptance of and not worry so damn much. I think it's helping. Baby steps. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing that, Bonnie! What an incredibly hard reality chronic pain is to surrender to. How to even do it? A deep bow to your commitment to acceptance and less worry. We got this!
Oh friend. Though not post-op, I am not a stranger to watching my child wrestle with night terrors like Jacob. I too am combating exhaustion (why do we say it this way and wonder why we are tired? Combat is exhausting) and have unsuccessfully tried to convince myself I have no reason to be, therefore, I am not. I fell asleep with a book on my face yesterday at 6 pm. Work and life “balance” feels like an election year: fake smiles, false promises, too many commercials. Solidarity in feeling what it feels. 💛
Thank you, Jenny. Combat it is, the most grueling kind. There is so little we can do without sleep, and the addition of the night terrors feels impossible. Your solidarity is so needed, though. Here's to falling asleep with books on our faces....
Baby doll, our precious Lamb. Of course my heart goes out to your daughter- I had my adenoids removed when I was four due to similar breathing issues- but my heart swells for YOU. To be the primary caregivers for our littles, to worry, to nurture, to manage the rage of feeling ourselves grow weak due to lack of self-regulation time...it feels, exactly how it feels. I will remember that line, and likely use it regularly.
I hope this weekend comes with some much needed rest for YOU, and baby-girl watches Bluey and plays with kitty.
Something my mom encouraged me with when I was in child birth was "a moment of discomfort for a lifetime of love"
I realize this is rather subjective- and our relationships with our parents don't always result in Love. With the discomfort you find yourself in, right now- we can see the lengths you will go for the sake of your girl. That's something that will stick with her for life. Hopefully, the fruits of your labor will evolve into the most cherished, loving relationship of BOTH your lives. <3
Thank you for sharing so tenderly with us. We love you.
Thank you for the big picture, dear friend, and for the big hearted love you've sent my way today. A moment of discomfort for a lifetime of love is just what I needed to hear. From my mama heart to yours, I appreciate you SO MUCH!!!
Yes, yes, yes. I see you and affirm this struggle and wish so much I could take one of those late-night shifts for you so you could rest and rally. This is so much to carry, momma. Yes, AND:
I see myself in your baby girl. Thrashing, throwing punches, not able to understand why this is happening. That my freedom could come with such a cost. What a perfect embodiment of Mother God you are. Meeting her/me/us there in the darkest corners of the night, for as long as it takes. Soothing us, even as you aren't able to take away the pain. Even as you desperately want to.
The Gospel is ice chips and dragon nightlights and momma's voice pulling me out of the dark.
"The Gospel is ice chips and dragon nightlights and momma's voice pulling me out of the dark." Oh my gosh, Lauren, you keep making me cry this week in the best possible way. Your voice has pulled me out of the dark. This comment (and your sharing of it) has pulled me out of the dark. I want to print it out and put it above my bed for the next however-long to keep me afloat. Thank you, thank you.
🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
Gentle and loving care to you all. Flowers for you and lavender on a tissue by the bedside can often assist our sleeping. Her dear self is calibrating and children are SO amazing with this. I take my lessons from them. Resisting what is has been a bitter pill I too have swallowed and it’s a practice in progress for me to notice and redirect myself compassionately when I am. Grateful you are in the other side with the surgery and noticing some glimmers. Easy does it with your dear self and as always I appreciate your thoughts. 💐💜
Thank you, dearest Joanie! Lavender on a tissue is a wonderful idea. I'm going to do that for both of us! And your stories of your own process of healing from this as a child (go mama, with the babysitter, yes!) and your compassionate solidarity mean the world to me. Sending you so much love right back!
I must have thought I'd give you two for the price of one! I could not find my other comment, thus a second. Gotta love those comments before the caffeine kicks in. Yes, thank goodness for our solidarity and that is something I feel so keenly here on Substack. It's such a gift! Just when we might think we have nothing to say, look at what happens. Hoping there are a few more exhales for you and that your little punkin begins to feel better. Lovingly and with aloha dear Kendall. 🌺
I love two Joanie comments! Any day! ❤️
Yes, oh how I can feel myself too within your words. Where did this horrible memo ever come from that we “should” not be feeling what we are? It cause so much added stress and anxiety. Thank goodness those ginormous tonsils are out! I had those biggies too and I remember my mom hiring my favorite baby sitter to come and play with me for several hours a day as my healing time was taking what it takes and she needed a small respite. Pretty remarkable for a 1960’s mom to tap into that. Healing hugs for all and that little peanut is going to feel SO much better! Her parents too. Go easy on yourself as you went into this time tapped out as you were trying to get the help for your daughter that she needed. Some pretty flowers, 💐 lavender by the bedside on a tissue is very calming too. (This comment disappeared this morning, thus two.) Guess I just had more to add. 😉