I did not enter the elephant realm expecting to cry today. My expectations are out the window.
I'm weeping with sea salt from your ocean stone. WHAT AN AMAZING OMEN. I don't know if I am a believer. I struggle with this all the time. But Kendall. Lamb. I believe in this. I believe in you. Thank you DEARLY for sharing your behind the scenes moments with us. ✨
Weeping with sea salt from my ocean stone?? 😭💙 I believe in you, too, K. With all my heart. This story, oof.... this one felt extra vulnerable because it is of the RIGHT NOW and that's such a hard place to write from (for me). Thanks for making it less scary by being here.
All of a sudden it got really sandy in here. I loved all of this. From the Kayak metaphor, to the feeling of misplacing something and messing up, and of course the lost and found gem. Beautiful ❤️
Marc, I just did a whole deep dive into your letters and I'm gutted. I'm so grateful for the comment, and am so looking forward to reading more of your story. Deep bow. ❤️
I AM CRYING at my desk at work. I love you, Kendall. Magic is real and what a moment. What a perfect beautifully timed moment. You brought me right along with you through this and I am left feeling hope filled.
Out of a masterfully told, bling redemption tale of hard-won truths, my favorite line is "I can't pretend to know what will happen next, but I do know this: I am paying attention."
Suddenly, at the very end, life's back straightens up, mind wide open, heart quickening for whichever Divine mystery beckons around that next corner... Thank you, Kendall, for taking all of us along.
This whole comment has straightened my back, has left me soaring. ❤️ Whenever I finish a peice lately, I put it down and go about my business and always, always a sentence emerges from the murk, like a line written on a magic eight ball, and always, always it grabs a reader like yourself. And this is probably why I believe in magic. ✨️
A magic eight ball?... shades of an era gone by, Kendall, and memories of my girls' childhood that has not been reproduced in my grandchildrens'. I mean, what a loss to not grow up with those marvelous magic eight balls!
As for magic, all we have to do is watch a bird soar, feel the heat from a loved one's face, or bite into a juicy peach... magic is all that Earth is and is not... and, yes, those magical, emergent sentences that keep us all on our toes... I'm so grateful you are writing!
I had to sit with this for a couple days. I needed to find the language to try and tell you why your writing is so important. No matter what I say, it will only scratch the surface.
When I am at my best, most secure self, I look around me at the pieces of pain littering the ground I walk on, the air I breathe, the eyes I look into, and I hurt for what seems to be the only reality that some people, and situations, are aware of. And yet just today, I got to see about a dozen birds, with wings outstretched, soaring in circles on air currents I couldn't see, in a clear blue sky. I gave two people (so far) gigantic hugs. I made a bunch of people laugh with a funny story. I unclogged a toilet.
When I stop and realize I'm in the middle of so much beauty and so much pain all at the same time, that's when my heart explodes with so much love and gratitude for being alive. These are the deepest, most private moments I have with my Creator, and I know I have been blessed beyond measure with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel.
You have written something in the right now, without having all the answers, that has touched the truth of tears born of faith, hope and love, while still feeling uncertain and afraid. It is the best thing we can do for each other. To reveal our imperfect truths with the hope of helping someone else know they are not alone.
Thank you.
P.S. In case you were wondering, yes, unclogging a toilet can be a beautiful thing. 😀
Oh my, Robin. This comment touched me so deeply. Before starting this Substack back in March, I had never really shared my writing with anyone other than my mom, truth be told. I don't know what I expected when I began to write- mostly I hoped that it would loosen the knot in my belly that had tightened from so much silence and shame over the years. (Which it has, thank goodness.) What has surprised me in the most amazing way is the mirror that is consistently held up before me when comments like this come my way. Tonight you have helped me see that this is the thing that I ache to do the most, just like you: "When I stop and realize I'm in the middle of so much beauty and so much pain all at the same time, that's when my heart explodes with so much love and gratitude for being alive. These are the deepest, most private moments I have with my Creator, and I know I have been blessed beyond measure with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel." This, this, this. The beautiful unclogging of toilets and the hugs and the birds right alongside the pain and the sorrow and the loneliness. As my friend Rob says, it is all sacred- we draw a circle around all of it. Thank you for pulling this truth out and placing it so tenderly in my heart. It motivates and inspires me to keep writing about the beauty and the pain all the more. My deepest thanks, truly.
This gives me chills! What are the chances??!! As I was thinking about where it has been nestled, protected, out of sight, until its appearance with both of you together. A cocooning time for the stone, protected, ready to burst forth when the time was right and YOU were the one who found it. A metaphor for your lives, happening when they changed dramatically with the birth of your daughter, now, your relationship out in the open, no more lint and fuzz around it, waiting to grow into the mysteries of this new season. Together and as individuals, parents, lovers, (that bow is something else) and as separate beings speaking your truth every step of the way. Once the pipes have been cleaned it is very difficult to ever go back. We just really can’t. I sense so much shared delight and goodness along with the gems found in the messiness. Your story telling is amazing, yet most of all it’s your heart I adore. With love and deep attention to it all. Xo💜💜💜
This! "A metaphor for your lives, happening when they changed dramatically with the birth of your daughter, now, your relationship out in the open, no more lint and fuzz around it, waiting to grow into the mysteries of this new season." Thank you for seeing me, Joanie, and for your incredibly thoughtful comment. I adore your heart as well, friend!
woooww so magical !!!
I do believe in miracles too!
Isn't life more fun that way??
So much more 🤗
And so much more meaningful ✨
I did not enter the elephant realm expecting to cry today. My expectations are out the window.
I'm weeping with sea salt from your ocean stone. WHAT AN AMAZING OMEN. I don't know if I am a believer. I struggle with this all the time. But Kendall. Lamb. I believe in this. I believe in you. Thank you DEARLY for sharing your behind the scenes moments with us. ✨
Weeping with sea salt from my ocean stone?? 😭💙 I believe in you, too, K. With all my heart. This story, oof.... this one felt extra vulnerable because it is of the RIGHT NOW and that's such a hard place to write from (for me). Thanks for making it less scary by being here.
No, this isn't me, crying in the middle of the grocery store while I wait for my coffee order from the kiosk. But DAMN did I come dangerously close!!
More thoughts to come later when I'm not on a deadline to be productive. :P
Oh my gosh, this brings tears to MY eyes!
Wow, Kendall, this is an incredible piece and story. Thank you for you sharing yourself and your gifts.
Wow, thank you, Bonnie! I am so grateful that you took the time to read!
All of a sudden it got really sandy in here. I loved all of this. From the Kayak metaphor, to the feeling of misplacing something and messing up, and of course the lost and found gem. Beautiful ❤️
Marc, I just did a whole deep dive into your letters and I'm gutted. I'm so grateful for the comment, and am so looking forward to reading more of your story. Deep bow. ❤️
I AM CRYING at my desk at work. I love you, Kendall. Magic is real and what a moment. What a perfect beautifully timed moment. You brought me right along with you through this and I am left feeling hope filled.
Love you right back, Mesa! Thank you for coming along for the journey I am so happy it filled you with hope 😭❤️
Out of a masterfully told, bling redemption tale of hard-won truths, my favorite line is "I can't pretend to know what will happen next, but I do know this: I am paying attention."
Suddenly, at the very end, life's back straightens up, mind wide open, heart quickening for whichever Divine mystery beckons around that next corner... Thank you, Kendall, for taking all of us along.
This whole comment has straightened my back, has left me soaring. ❤️ Whenever I finish a peice lately, I put it down and go about my business and always, always a sentence emerges from the murk, like a line written on a magic eight ball, and always, always it grabs a reader like yourself. And this is probably why I believe in magic. ✨️
A magic eight ball?... shades of an era gone by, Kendall, and memories of my girls' childhood that has not been reproduced in my grandchildrens'. I mean, what a loss to not grow up with those marvelous magic eight balls!
As for magic, all we have to do is watch a bird soar, feel the heat from a loved one's face, or bite into a juicy peach... magic is all that Earth is and is not... and, yes, those magical, emergent sentences that keep us all on our toes... I'm so grateful you are writing!
Oh, I love your magic! Yes, yes, yes. It's all there, in the extraordinary ordinary things. ❤️
This is fantastic storytelling, Kendall. Thank you for your heart and vulnerability.
Thank you for taking the time to read, my friend! This one was a long one!
Beautiful, friend. You are welcome! Have you ever considered publishing in a magazine? Like O Magazine? They do relationship stuff.
It's a dream of mine to be published and this word of encouragement means the world to me! ✨️✨️✨️
Wow… absolutely beautifully written and so gripping!!! I believe in signs and nudges and miracles and this… this is beautiful. 😭💛💛💛
Kendall,
I had to sit with this for a couple days. I needed to find the language to try and tell you why your writing is so important. No matter what I say, it will only scratch the surface.
When I am at my best, most secure self, I look around me at the pieces of pain littering the ground I walk on, the air I breathe, the eyes I look into, and I hurt for what seems to be the only reality that some people, and situations, are aware of. And yet just today, I got to see about a dozen birds, with wings outstretched, soaring in circles on air currents I couldn't see, in a clear blue sky. I gave two people (so far) gigantic hugs. I made a bunch of people laugh with a funny story. I unclogged a toilet.
When I stop and realize I'm in the middle of so much beauty and so much pain all at the same time, that's when my heart explodes with so much love and gratitude for being alive. These are the deepest, most private moments I have with my Creator, and I know I have been blessed beyond measure with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel.
You have written something in the right now, without having all the answers, that has touched the truth of tears born of faith, hope and love, while still feeling uncertain and afraid. It is the best thing we can do for each other. To reveal our imperfect truths with the hope of helping someone else know they are not alone.
Thank you.
P.S. In case you were wondering, yes, unclogging a toilet can be a beautiful thing. 😀
Robin
Oh my, Robin. This comment touched me so deeply. Before starting this Substack back in March, I had never really shared my writing with anyone other than my mom, truth be told. I don't know what I expected when I began to write- mostly I hoped that it would loosen the knot in my belly that had tightened from so much silence and shame over the years. (Which it has, thank goodness.) What has surprised me in the most amazing way is the mirror that is consistently held up before me when comments like this come my way. Tonight you have helped me see that this is the thing that I ache to do the most, just like you: "When I stop and realize I'm in the middle of so much beauty and so much pain all at the same time, that's when my heart explodes with so much love and gratitude for being alive. These are the deepest, most private moments I have with my Creator, and I know I have been blessed beyond measure with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to feel." This, this, this. The beautiful unclogging of toilets and the hugs and the birds right alongside the pain and the sorrow and the loneliness. As my friend Rob says, it is all sacred- we draw a circle around all of it. Thank you for pulling this truth out and placing it so tenderly in my heart. It motivates and inspires me to keep writing about the beauty and the pain all the more. My deepest thanks, truly.
This gives me chills! What are the chances??!! As I was thinking about where it has been nestled, protected, out of sight, until its appearance with both of you together. A cocooning time for the stone, protected, ready to burst forth when the time was right and YOU were the one who found it. A metaphor for your lives, happening when they changed dramatically with the birth of your daughter, now, your relationship out in the open, no more lint and fuzz around it, waiting to grow into the mysteries of this new season. Together and as individuals, parents, lovers, (that bow is something else) and as separate beings speaking your truth every step of the way. Once the pipes have been cleaned it is very difficult to ever go back. We just really can’t. I sense so much shared delight and goodness along with the gems found in the messiness. Your story telling is amazing, yet most of all it’s your heart I adore. With love and deep attention to it all. Xo💜💜💜
This! "A metaphor for your lives, happening when they changed dramatically with the birth of your daughter, now, your relationship out in the open, no more lint and fuzz around it, waiting to grow into the mysteries of this new season." Thank you for seeing me, Joanie, and for your incredibly thoughtful comment. I adore your heart as well, friend!